Psalm 51: Repentance

I have mentioned before how one of my favorite passages in Scripture is David’s cry for mercy in Psalm 51. This is a perfect depiction of how our lives should be lived daily.

I am currently going through a book called Whiter Than Snow by Paul David Tripp. Wonderful devotional on Psalm 51. As I was reading today, this paragraph stuck out to me:

I come to the Lord with only one appeal, his mercy. I’ve no other defense. I’ve no other standing. I’ve no other hope. I can’t escape the reality of my biggest problem… me! So I appeal to the one thing in my life that’s sure and will never fail. I appeal to the one thing that guaranteed not only my acceptance with God, but the hope of new beginning and fresh starts. I appeal on the basis of the greatest gift I ever have or ever will be given.

Not one of us is righteous. We can not make a way to God. God made his way to us in Jesus Christ.  We are sinful, he is perfect. The only thing we can do is cling to his mercy. May Jesus teach us more and more about his abundant mercy. The only thing worth clinging to.

Selfishness vs. Gospel

Today has been filled with different emotions. Joy, laughter, sorrow, and grief. The tragedy of Haiti has been looming in my mind the entire day. I cannot help but be burdened with hurt. I continue to weep over this terrible incident… but all my mind wants to do is worry about my wants and needs. That is my default motive. I am pathetically selfish. While millions of people are displaced right now all I think about is, “I miss her. I need money. I don’t want to do work. I want life to be easy. etc. etc.”

Oh how this sickens me. I am focused on my own little narrow world and forget everything else. I pray for a change. I pray for a heavy burden for those who are lost and hurting, those who are poor and distraught. I need the Gospel. WE need the Gospel. Haiti needs the Gospel.

Lord, how my heart is heavy. Bring Your people together. Teach us how to love our neighbors and how to give our all for Your cause. Father, fill us up and send us out. We NEED You! The world NEEDS You! Make Yourself known during this troublesome time. Jesus, be glorified in our actions and words. Help us. Amen.

What’s New?

Am I the only one that has a problem with answering this question? I never have a good answer. It is always, “Same old, same old.” Perhaps even, “Work, school, the usual.” Some days I feel like my life is so boring because there is never anything new. That is far, far from the case.

I truly believe I don’t pay attention to the subtleties of God enough. His grace is so present in every aspect of life and we are just so zoned in on “living our lives” instead of taking a second and looking around. Those are some of my most peaceful, reassuring moments. Looking up into the night sky and seeing a big, bright moon… or feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. The overlooked things in life are some of the most beautiful.

I get frustrated day in and day out because I want to figure life out. I want to know what I’ll be doing in two years. I want to know when marriage is coming around the corner. I want to know EVERYTHING. I feel like a failure if I don’t answer the question, “What do you want to do?” I have no idea. I just know one thing… I want to share the beauty of God’s grace in Jesus Christ to everyone I meet. That is the only thing I know for certain. And on the days when I am down because I am so busy and don’t pay attention to the beauty and love surrounding us, I remember the one thing I know for certain… and I realize that maybe this is all I need to know right now. I need to know that Christ is enough for me. He is sufficient. Without Him, I am nothing and going nowhere. I need to know that this truth is the only truth.

So in the end, I have no idea what’s new or what I am going to do with my life. All I know is that Jesus is beside me every single moment of the way. That, my friends, brings me comfort.

P.S. – Forgive me if my thoughts are random and unstructured. I want to start blogging more. I don’t blog much because I really don’t think I have much to say, ha. So here goes.

This is the New Year and I Don’t Feel Any Different.

New year. New decade. New blessings. New  struggles. New fears. New loves. New smiles. New opportunities.

I never make resolutions. This year was different. So I decided to make some and stick with them.

1) Get into shape.

2) Read more.

3) Blog once a week. I want to write more and get better in my writing. How else can I do that without doing it??

4) Strive for holiness in every aspect of life.

Those are just some of the aspirations I have for this year. I am excited for them. What are yours?

Take Heart, We Have Hope.

¹³That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, ¹⁴and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. ¹⁵While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. ¹⁶ But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. ¹⁷And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. ¹⁸Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” ¹⁹And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, ²⁰and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. ²¹But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. ²²Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, ²³and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. ²⁴ Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” ²⁵And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! ²⁶ Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” ²⁷And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.

-Luke 24:13-27

I believe we forget the resurrection happened. I know I do. Just like the disciples,we lose hope easily. They believed Jesus was going to redeem Israel. They believed that he was the Christ. Until Jesus was crucified. They thought it was over and done with. They wept bitterly and did not know what to do next. They forgot Jesus saying that he would arise on the third day, just as we forget.

The Gospel is the Gospel because Christ had victory over death. Without this, we have no hope, no joy. Christ paid our price on the Cross and rose again and is still living! How incredible. I truly believe that if we took hold of this truth, a radical change will occur in our lives. Christ has risen! He is alive and well.

Lord, how I pray that we hold tightly to this important fact. I pray that it changes our lives. I pray that you soften our stubborn hearts and lead us into a loving, pure, hopeful relationship with the God of gods, King of kings, Lord of lords, Jesus Christ, our Savior and Hope. Convict us of our pride. Help us look at your Son in everything we attempt to do. It is only by Your grace and mercy we are alive. We take hope in the only God worthy of taking hope in. In Christ’s precious name, Amen.

I’ve wasted it.

One of my favorite writers/theologians is John Piper. He has taught me much about the majesty of God and how important it is to find complete joy in Jesus Christ. Very influential on my thought processes and such.

I am reading a book of his called Don’t Waste Your Life. In it, he tells of a story about a elderly man who was in his Dad’s congregation. The church had been praying for his salvation for years, but it just would not give. They wondered why. Finally, one day the man came down after John Piper’s father finished preaching. The elderly gentlemen’s heart was burdened by the Spirit of God and the man came to faith in Christ. The biggest part of that story was the fact that when the man was saved by Jesus, he kept saying, “I’ve wasted it! I’ve wasted my life!”

This has been on my mind since I first read it. What is a life well lived? What is the one passion, the one purpose of our lives? What is the essence of this life? There has to be more than just working, starting a family, retiring, and then dying in old age. More has to come out of this so called “American dream.”

Lately I have been gripped with how short life is. I don’t want to waste it in fleeting things, but so often I do. How many times have I slept for 12+ hours? How many hours have I wasted watching TV? How often do I spend time on Twitter and Facebook? All these things are good in their own ways, don’t get me wrong. I think each has its purpose, but hours and hours out of the day wasted on these things? We only have 24 hours a day! Man, I don’t know about you, but that is too short to be wasted on these certain objects.

Needless to say, I am sick of wasting my life. I am just tired of being focused on money, the opposite sex, even the future. I want to magnify Christ in all I do. I want eternity to grip me. I want to keep my eyes on things that matter more so than just in that hour or minute of time. I want to be grasped by a majestic God who loves us more than we can ever imagine. That is my prayer for myself and for each and everyone of you.

Life.

It’s rough. People always say to compare yourselves to others. Then you will feel better. Really? I vote no on that one.

I am beyond insecure. So excited about certain things that never phase out the way I want them to. It blows. I feel used and to be honest, I have been down for the past couple weeks. I get myselves into these dumb situations that are COMPLETELY my fault. What do I do after they fail? I medicate with anything else that is not the Gospel.

I am just scared. Hate to face it, but it’s true. I put my life into my own hands and it always flops. I want to trust in Jesus more. I want to risk my life for the Gospel. But I am way too nervous to put my hands into Jesus’. What will become of it? I know greatness. I know blessings, but why am I so hesitant?

Blah. Cheers.

Sum of all Life.

I read this tonight. Simply beautiful:

Without the gospel

everything is useless and vain;

without the gospel

we are not Christians;

without the gospel

all riches is poverty,
all wisdom folly before God;
strength is weakness,
and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God.

But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made

children of God,
brothers of Jesus Christ,
fellow townsmen with the saints,
citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven,
heirs of God with Jesus Christ, by whom

the poor are made rich,
the weak strong,
the fools wise,
the sinner justified,
the desolate comforted,
the doubting sure,
and slaves free.

It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.
It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone.

For, he was

sold, to buy us back;
captive, to deliver us;
condemned, to absolve us;

he was

made a curse for our blessing,
[a] sin offering for our righteousness;
marred that we may be made fair;

he died for our life; so that by him

fury is made gentle,
wrath appeased,
darkness turned into light,
fear reassured,
despisal despised,
debt canceled,
labor lightened,
sadness made merry,
misfortune made fortunate,
difficulty easy,
disorder ordered,
division united,
ignominy ennobled,
rebellion subjected,
intimidation intimidated,
ambush uncovered,
assaults assailed,
force forced back,
combat combated,
war warred against,
vengeance avenged,
torment tormented,
damnation damned,
the abyss sunk into the abyss,
hell transfixed,
death dead,
mortality made immortal.

In short,

mercy has swallowed up all misery,
and goodness all misfortune.

For all these things which were to be the weapons of the devil in his battle against us, and the sting of death to pierce us, are turned for us into exercises which we can turn to our profit.

If we are able to boast with the apostle, saying, O hell, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? it is because by the Spirit of Christ promised to the elect, we live no longer, but Christ lives in us; and we are by the same Spirit seated among those who are in heaven, so that for us the world is no more, even while our conversation is in it; but we are content in all things, whether country, place, condition, clothing, meat, and all such things.

And we are

comforted in tribulation,
joyful in sorrow,
glorying under vituperation,
abounding in poverty,
warmed in our nakedness,
patient amongst evils,
living in death.

This is what we should in short seek in the whole of Scripture: truly to know Jesus Christ, and the infinite riches that are comprised in him and are offered to us by him from God the Father.

- John Calvin

Life, Death, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Many deaths in the news recently. Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, and now Billy Mays. These recent tragedies have got me thinking a ton about how short this life is and how much I forget that daily. We should live with a sense of urgency is something I often hear from preachers… and all I can think of is, “Urgency? Why be urgent when I can enjoy my life and chill? Why be urgent when it takes so much energy to constantly live a sacrificial life dedicated to the Lord? Urgency? No, thanks. I will just sit here and coast through life forgetting everything I have been blessed with and forgetting how I deserve absolutely NONE of it.” That is my default outlook. And that is a tragedy in itself. I don’t live like Christ is my everything. I become attached to other objects and people and focus all my attention on them until something happens where I need to turn to Christ, but don’t and instead because this sad, depressed fellow. That is ridiculous. I ask daily for a changed heart, but it sometimes feels like a circular prayer. I have been changed by the blood of Jesus. I know I have. I am not the same person I was 2 years ago. I have all these opportunities presented to me, all these ministries I am a part of, but I frequently forget who I am doing them for and who gave me them. I am broken and in need of grace every millisecond.

Jesus, draw me close to You… so that I might see everything I do in life comes back to Your Cross and Your commands. I need help. Desperately. Thank You for loving me first.

Detox, Day 3.

I am a little behind, but I will catch up soon enough.

Reflections on Daniel 3:

This is might be one of the most well-known Bible stories. The fiery furnace. This story always struck a chord with my heart. Especially these verses.

¹⁶ Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. ¹⁷If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. ¹⁸But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Wow! Look at their faith. The King wanted everyone to bow down to the idol he constructed, but Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse. They said that God would deliever them, but EVEN IF He didn’t, they would still not bow down. The boldness and courage these dudes had is something that is rarely seen today. But God’s faithfulness is still steadfast. He still delivers them. God has His servants in His grasp and will always be with them. I pray that we become so enamored with who God is and that nothing will keep us from keeping our eyes upon Him!